Several months ago I completed writing my Living Will and revising my Advanced Health Care Directive. Both documents have drawn me into deep reflection and prayer. Though one may think my reflections are on the “end of life” and dying, these documents have drawn me into celebrating with joy and gladness the precious treasures in my life. One question in the Directive asks if there are final words I wish to express to those I love. My immediate response is that NOW is the time I want to say to my dearly beloved friends how my heart has been holding them close throughout the years.
I have been slowly and prayerfully moving through the 7 decades of my life, realizing how greatly I have been blessed with the gift of significant and forever friends. I have been spending time quietly and alone, gratefully and humbly remembering the treasured moments and memories created with precious friends who have left their indelible mark of love on my life. I carry them in the depths of my heart where I hold them with reverence and awe. I believe Jesus has brought each one into my life.
Now that I am in my aging years, I am beginning to feel a calm urgency to spend more time with the inner circle of my intimate and treasured friends. It has become a part of my daily prayer and reflection that I give time to naming, remembering, blessing, and celebrating one of my precious treasures . . . every day I place before the Lord a friend who has blessed my life with Light and Love. I hold that friend in greater awareness throughout the day and at the end of the day, I offer a prayer of deep gratitude for our friendship. It is one way I offer each friend the gift of time.
Another part of the urgency I am feeling about spending time with my inner circle of treasured friends is our sharing heart-to-heart. Whether it be a phone call, a handwritten letter/note or person-to-person, face-to-face visit, I welcome every moment with a glad and grateful heart. I measure the time we share not in quantity but in quality. Giving time to be in each other’s presence, however that may be, is a precious gift we give each other. I anticipate, cherish and celebrate every moment we pause in our busy lives to deepen the intimacy in our friendship. Remembering times we spent together and cherishing time we have NOW is the greatest gift we can give and receive.
Aging is taking me deeper and deeper into my soul and I recognize the infinite depth in the soul of each friend. Sacred meets sacred within our friendship. What joy it is when we know with certainty that the love in our friendship is infinite! We will always love one another, as Jesus loves us, with an “everlasting love.”
A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter:
When you find one you have found a treasure.
There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend.
-Sirach 6:14-15
–Sandy Setterlund
Thank you, I will begin to take this in.
What a blessing your words are to me.
This is a wonderful reflection on the aging process and the virtue of gratitude. As someone approaching 80 (Hard to believe!), I can well relate to these thoughts. Thank you.
My most cherished friends have both passed away. My Mother first and best friend through school,marriage and children. They were the two people I could talk to about anything and visa versa. I miss them both terribly and it seems like a lifetime since they’ve passed. My Mother 20+ and my best friend 6 yrs. Where does the time go? The tears still come and go with thoughts and prayers but the Lord has them with him and he keeps me strong every day to continue on.
So true. Friends and relationships are precious treasures beyond words to adequately express the preciousness and gift that each is.
Thanks for sharing. Blessings.
Sandy, thanks so much for your reflection. We are currently reading Joan Chittister book on Gifts of Aging for Book Club at St. Anthony’s. You are a blessing!
Indeed, some of my life’s greatest blessings besides my immediate family are the many friends in my life, some dating back to being neighborhood kids who played together for hours and to classmates through K-12. Then there were those who I met through religious functions, especially those who opened their lives to us during Cursillo weekends. Sadly, as I begin my 80’s, many of those wonderful people have gone to the Lord.