It is now the Christian season of Lent and with it comes the classic question of “What are you giving up for Lent?” Many have reflected on this before and even whether it is better to “give up” something (like chocolate!) or to “proactively do” something (like commit to performing one random act of kindness each day). For several years, I have chosen to do something that is difficult for me: give up road rage.

Now, those who don’t live in a high density area may wonder what the big deal is. Well, living in Maryland has many wonderful benefits, but one of the drawbacks is that a lot of people live in a relatively small area which creates all sorts of traffic headaches. This certainly isn’t helped by some of the “creative” driving that occurs. I have been told by friends and colleagues who grew up here that native Marylanders aren’t the problem but rather the fact that many people move to Maryland each bringing their own clashing driving style. (Having seen several native Marylanders drive, though, I am not entirely convinced of this argument.) But regardless of the cause, driving can be a very frustrating experience that has me sometimes literally yelling to myself in my car.

This year, though, I am attempting to reflect a bit more on this. Obviously when someone runs a red light, drives 100 mph in a 25 mph zone, or engages in truly dangerous behavior, there is an argument that concern is warranted. However, I have found myself upset at far more minor inconveniences such as driving too slowly in the left lane or failing to accelerate fast enough at a green light. Sure, I can justify that frustration as violations of either various laws or the social norms of driving. But if I am honest with myself, usually the amount of anger I experience is a bit out of proportion to the “offense.” It is also extremely unproductive; my frustration will not change any of the situations described but will just get me riled up.

I actually think there is an excellent life lesson in here, especially from a Christian lens. We are called to love one another without judging them because we have no way of knowing someone’s heart. There could be myriad factors as to why someone is driving a particular way, and this is certainly true in life as well. But perhaps more importantly, getting angry at another’s behavior isn’t productive and won’t change anything. I have no way to control a fellow traveler’s car any more than they control mine and indeed, I likely should work on better controlling my own journey rather than worrying about someone else’s.

Certainly, driving, like life, would be far better if everyone was fully focused on the important task at hand, was courteous, and remembered that there is a whole community on the road with them. However, when other people cause (real or perceived!) slights against you, it doesn’t help to fume to yourself. The best course of action is usually to take a deep breath, acknowledge the frustration or hurt, adjust to the situation at hand with items under your control, and continue on in a spirit of love and forgiveness. I will certainly be trying to do that this Lent and if I am successful, I hope that it will carry through to other parts of my life as well.

– Christian Svetnicka